when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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