Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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