I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
