We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I think a kid would responsible me up
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
