Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
