i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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