your room smells of hookers.
And success
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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