That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize