May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
operation have a gay friend backfired
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
