The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Drunk is not a location!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
