no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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