Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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