so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
