Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
