woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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