he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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