you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
