He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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