did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
