I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Enjoy the penises
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
