We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
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