we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
