How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
