If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
