so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
