Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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