420 ftw
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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