I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
