Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
