We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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