how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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