Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
