my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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