It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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