Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
