apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
