i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
