so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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