I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
