why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
