He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
