If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
