Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Randomize
