I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Best friends brother. Beat that.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
