What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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