you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Randomize
