if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
