i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
