Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
