i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
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Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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