this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
