no, he came in my armpit
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
