i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
