Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
dude. I can hear the air.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
