please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
