I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
