guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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