I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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