No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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