Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize