You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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