Is it normal to miss your booty call?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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